Vasectomy: It's not castration

As I begin this article, it is past midnight, going into day four after my vasectomy. And I’ve addressed the issue already (in good humor) with three intelligent people, all of whom know the procedure, I think. 

“Castration - 1. To remove the testicles of (a male); geld or emasculate. 

2. To remove the ovaries of (a female); spay.” - thefreedictionary.com.

I did not sign up for that procedure, nor would I EVER! A vasectomy is the surgical procedure whereby all or a portion of the vas deferens is removed, usually as a form of sterilization. The vas deferens is the bit of internal plumbing that transports sperm from the testis to the prostatic urethra. Therefore a vasectomy is much less... well, emasculating than castration.

Specifically, my procedure was a No-Scalpel Vasectomy and the man who performed it has done vasectomies for twenty years. A cut is still made, but significantly smaller. A pair of pointed forceps, a bit like a pair of scissors, pierces the scrotum allowing access to the vas deferens, and then the cut can be closed with a single stitch. I’ve got two prescriptions: an antibiotic and a pain killer. The pain I have experienced so far I would have to describe as minimal, however, I am walking a little funny and I am not in a hurry to get ANYWHERE. I have spent a fair amount of time on the couch with an ice pack over the last three days, but aside from the obvious, that’s really the worst I can complain about. I’ve had no significant disruption to life as usual, but my aftercare instructions are clear: absolutely NO straining for a week. Really? Sweet!

This is a decision that me and my wife have discussed the seven years that we have been together. For a long term option, as a family who does not want children, surgical birth control seems like the logical alternative. That stated, the surgery is much simpler for men than women. Then I got laid off and with insurance running out I realized it was now or never. Once I finally got the nerve to schedule my consultation, I was able to schedule my vasectomy a couple weeks later. Now it may seem confusing as to why I had to gather any courage at all if this was something we had truly been considering for so long, but yes, truth be told, I was a bit shy and nervous. I was nervous because the descriptions and accounts that I was reading online seemed almost too good to be true. 

The procedure usually takes about 20 minutes. I think mine was about 30 minutes, outpatient, local anesthetic, and one stitch. I mean, do men really schedule vasectomies on their lunchbreaks, then come back and sit at their desks all day with a bag of frozen peas down their pants?   

We contacted our local urology clinic and scheduled a consultation. I had about a week to prepare myself for any scenarios during my consultations but I was 99% sure I wanted to go through with the surgery. So I called back to see if I could schedule the procedure for the same day, but they required a 48 hour period of consideration after our meeting. I still had to wait two more weeks after the consult. They were all booked up.  

Around 500,000 men annually have vasectomies in the United States. One of my friends commented sarcastically that it must be “the thing to do”  because he knew of another guy who had just had one too. 

“Really?”

Maybe I shouldn’t have been too surprised considering the current economic climate. It seems a pretty popular option at the moment, if not at least a wise precaution.  Our local news just had aired a story about  an increase in the number of men choosing surgical birth control probably the day after I started writing this story.

I’m now two  weeks out and I would say about 90% full speed. I hopped on my bike for the first time and managed to survive the 4.5 mile round trip with no pain whatsoever, and that was with the 36 mph west wind. So, I guess it’s back to straining, among other things... Oh yeah, and I know I'm getting ads for vas reversals, but let me state that I don't believe in having a vasectomy if planning to reverse a few years down the road. Vas for life!

Happy hubbing!